lostloverfound

Last week, a young man lost his life. He was being 22. Still making impulsive choices. Not believing the consequences would affect him or others. Right in the middle of a developmental stage, right on time. Yet…. he lost his life.

He was drinking and chose to drive home. There was damage to a tree, a couple of parked cars and a house. His parents, family and friends.

So many judgements were made, comments spewed forth with no understanding or compassion.

Something I’ve learned and will share with you all is people often say ‘What was wrong with him?’

When in actuality the comment should have been “What has happened to him?’ “What happened that he made those choices?”

Trauma is always the answer.

Trauma doesn’t excuse people’s behavior or choices. However, it does help us to understand why someone would behave in the way they are or have.

This young 22-year-old man was in my son’s daycare, they grew through grade school together, cub scouts.. all the things.

My son made a comment that got me thinking, as I do. He said this young man was living a ‘wild’ life. My response was this:

When we see someone we know, love or care about, making ‘wild’ choices. That’s when they need our friendship the most. To know that no matter what they are going through, we’re here and we care.

So look around at the people in your life, really look. Is everyone doing okay? Is anyone heading for trouble? And then we go to them, and remind them, that we’re here caring about them. Maybe we need to say the words… ‘I’m worried about you, let me help’.

I’m going to this young man’s visitation today. To hug his parents. To cry with them. And to honor their son’s life.

Now, I’m looking around, at all of you reading this… asking, Are you okay?

Even though we may be in other parts of the world, we are still neighbors.

And if you’re not ok, I’m here. Caring about you.